Consumer Report: Jacandra trees, Bluets, and handwritten letters
Hi, it’s been a minute. Well almost as many minutes as two years contain. I started this Substack and then got consumed with another project. And if we’re talking about minutes, there are only so many in a day, and unfortunately, I am an incredibly irritable, low functioning person without sleep. But I finished that project, so now with my time, I’d like to write on here a little more consistently. Admittedly, I’m still not really sure how Substack works, so have a feeling the formatting is going to look funky.
But on to beautiful things. I started a practice of “noticing” over two years ago and it’s changed my life for the better. I was inspired by Ross Gay’s The Book of Delights as well as Mary Oliver’s poem, Sometimes. If you’re curious, you can read a little more about it here in a blog.
Stopping to admire, or take notice of good things, beautiful things, especially when there’s so much ugliness and uncertainty in the world right now is fuel to keep going. On Instagram, I share photos of things I see monthly, and want to expand that on here. In addition to the flaw of requiring sleep, I’m also more extrinsicly motivated that sometimes I would like to admit, so would like to share my observations with a bit of a personal deadline to write something on here each week.
Jacandra Trees
I moved to Los Angeles for the first time in 2017 for a summer internship. After submitting countless applications from my latop in Oklahoma, a small cartoon company offered me a social media position. While incredibly grateful (I was a junior in college and starting to sweat at the looming graduation), the internship itself was an entire experience. One of the more memorable tasks was driving to Rodeo Drive in my 2009 Honda Fit (still my car, thank you) to photograph dolls in front of the Beverly Hills sign for the brand’s Instagram. But that’s an entirely separate story. On my first day in the city, a Sunday before the internship started, for the first time in my life, not tethered to anyone or anything nearby, I walked around my new neighborhood, and found trees, later I found out were called Jacandra trees, blooming with small purple flowers. Some of the delicate petals formed a smashed carpet on the cement, and I was taken by the unfamiliarity of their beauty. I recently moved back to LA, and on another walk, in a different neighborhood, several years later, was greeted by Jacandra trees. Still beautiful now in their familiarity.
Bluets by Maggie Nelson
After being out of commission for a couple of years, I found that my LA library card still works. One of the first titles I checked out was Bluets by Maggie Nelson, a collection of experimental essays and poetry exploring love and suffering through the lens of the color blue. Maggie Nelson actually mentions Jacandra trees, and argues that they’re more purple than blue which I cosign on completely. But so much of her writing struck me, one phrase in particular, that I’ve been repeating to myself all week, “When I was alive, I aimed to be a student not of longing, but of light.”
A letter from a friend
On the topic of moving, I was excited to come back to LA after being away from a couple years. But in the eight years between the first move here, and this one, the third, I’ve made friends that live in different cities. And sometimes making friends as an adult (look me in the eye right now, fellow introverts!) feels like its own small miracle. Keeping in touch when you live in separate places, perhaps an even bigger one.
Honorable Mentions
Tangerine Sticky Roll from Doubting Thomas: Paired with a bitter Americano, the hints of subtle citrus make a wonderful treat.
Teen Dream by Beach House: This album is fifteen years old or something, but it’s perfect sound track for work or vibing while taking a walk to look at Jacandra trees or whatever lines your street.
Overcompensating on Amazon Prime Video: Benito Skinner’s new show is equal parts funny and sweet with wonderfully human characters that perfectly captures the uncertainty and awkwardness of coming out.
This goose. Concerned about its outfit in the heat, but excellent nonetheless.
Hope you find some beauty this week.
xx
Sophia